The ladies.

Maybe you need this spider as a wingman Klomster.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=25WPUUCwNnw

And when you fail....... just retract your rainbow of an ass, stop using your legs as pom poms and jump away very quickly.


This guy also got game:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dx2CUMtZ-0

DOMIN4TRIX wrote:Maybe you need this spider as a wingman Klomster.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=25WPUUCwNnw

And when you fail....... just retract your rainbow of an ass, stop using your legs as pom poms and jump away very quickly.


This guy also got game:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dx2CUMtZ-0

I dunno but i found those strangely disturbing.


I guess you are right constantine. I do wonder why i've had a paralyzing fear of people my whole life. Only recently its gotten better.

Better is good! What has changed that had allowed for this improvement? Work on you first, the rest will come naturally.

It's funny, but before i met my friends in the roleplaying group i used to be VERY shy. (Redunkulously so.)

I find it ironic that it was a group of nerd roleplayers that helped me improve my social abilities.

That was several years ago. Let's say "7 years ago". (Internal joke.)

And i go out playing harmonica for drunks mostly every friday and saturday night outside a local bar.
I've come a long way from barely daring to ask mum for ice-cream.

Know how to play a instrument is always a good way to start talking to women, they love a guy who can play their favorite songs!

what instrument do you play?

Drinking a glass of wine is always a good way to lose the "shyness" (is this the right word?), just don´t make this a habit!

And practice, talk to women around, someone in the bus, on your work, on the cafe, etc...

Klomster wrote:It's funny, but before i met my friends in the roleplaying group i used to be VERY shy. (Redunkulously so.)

I find it ironic that it was a group of nerd roleplayers that helped me improve my social abilities.

That was several years ago. Let's say "7 years ago". (Internal joke.)

And i go out playing harmonica for drunks mostly every friday and saturday night outside a local bar.
I've come a long way from barely daring to ask mum for ice-cream.

Then be proud of your accomplishments and be more compassionate and realistic in your critisism of yourself.
Keep working on you before worrying about getting into a relationship.

In truth i think i want a girlfriend to sort of "mom me around"

Then i would have a reason to take more responsibility about myself and fix myself up.
Since otherwise i'm not showing my best since she probably would towards me.

Only a bit of course
I'm not gonna take crap, but small complaints here and there are good. Then you know what to improve.

And Sirron, i play the harmonica.
As for wine..... i don't really drink wine. I could take a small half glass of whiskey (like really little) and drink it like a sir.

Coz drinking reasonable amounts of whiskey like a sir looks cool. And proves you are a proper gentleman.
Top hat, monocle and a cigar (just to hold, not smoke) are given accesories.

Although i don't actually have any of that. And wouldn't be able to afford it anyways. :/

Plus when would i drink the wine? Before i go to the shop?
-"Hey there, wanna go on a date? Don't mind the alcohol smell, trust me, i seldom drink."
Would look real smooth

Klomster wrote:In truth i think i want a girlfriend to sort of "mom me around"

Then i would have a reason to take more responsibility about myself and fix myself up.
Since otherwise i'm not showing my best since she probably would towards me.

Only a bit of course
I'm not gonna take crap, but small complaints here and there are good. Then you know what to improve.

I like the strategy, but as I have already stated and you have eluded to, the risk of this strategy can be high as you are looking to an external source (the woman) to direct you and affirm your actions. I see this leading to unhealth/codependent relationships A LOT at my work.

YOU are the one that needs to push and challenge yourself, not someone else. Healthy relationships challenge us to be better but we are the ones that need to be the primary driving force behind out growth.

Lecture comlete!    Now go have fun!

It's nice to see that you care Constantine

I was going to have a go today... perhaps.

But she wasn't there, and might be as well. Haven't showered lately.

She might have been in a park i passed through while walking home frome work.
Although she in the park had glasses, which the shop girl doesn't. At least not in the shop.....

I'll go take a shower. That's always good to do.
Wash of the grime and mental filth since the last shower.

Is it old fashioned or really adorable to want to pick flowers for her?
Since there were loads of nice flowers along the riverbank.

hi Bro !
No matter what she said before, and says every time you talk about flowers... every woman DO love receiving flowers !!  
Every single woman in the world !  
But be original, and don't count your pennies... red roses is a classic always loved ... and always in impair numbers : 1, 3, 5, 7, 9....
or Orchids could do the tricks
or even some other flowers, if you can find the one that passes the message you want. There a flower language, pal and before buying flowers you have to ask to the flower man which flower could express best what you want to say to the lady... it important, paramount !  
Aubec  

Of course I care Brother!

Set yourself some self-care routines Brother. Shower regularly given that it makes you feel better. Flowers are a great idea. As Brother Aubec stated there are many messages through flowers, but IMHO spontaniously picked "I was thinking of you" flowers are just as (if no more) romantic than store bought. It all comes down to the personality of the young lady in question.

Keep working on you brother, if you feel like you want to do something, go for it and dont give yourself time talk yourself out of it

Buying roses....

Waaay out of my economy.
Although there are some rose-bushes behind the main area on my work practise job.
I could yank some of those.

I'm more into the idea of.
*Well, i thought of you kinda and picked these.*

Dunno, a bit too cheesy. I guess i'll just try to ask without flowers, i can get flowers for the date.

If you give a girl flowers at the start of the date she will have to carry them the whole night which can be really awkward.

I think flowers are best given by a courier, preferably at her place of work. The sentiment is multiplied because all her colleagues are jealous, although delivered to her house also works. It also takes the awkwardness out of giving a bouquet.

You don't have to pay anyone extra to do it just get a reliable friend.

All in all flowers are nice but a more personal gift would always be better.

I remember chatting to a girl at a club that was eating a sherbet dip, I ended up taking her on a date and bought her a bag of sherbet as a joke. It's the small gestures that are designed to make her laugh.

Flowers can be an incredibly romantic but on the first date it can seem to either lack appropriate sentiment and be cliche or be overly romantic and slightly odd in modern dating.

I guess though really, how a girl acts when receiving flowers tells you if she is into you. If she likes you she will love the gesture.

it doesn't even have to be flowers it could be something meaningful to them like what Dom is saying. Although you have to know them a bit before you grasp what they like. Drawing from experience when I asked my girlfriend out on our first date I asked while handing her a shirt with batman on it cause I knew how much she loved batman comics.

yes I know bribery but it worked

Most important is just be yourself around her (or anybody for that matter). If she doesn't like the way you are, or the way you express yourself then don't bother. Too many people put on a front in order to get a girlfriend....what is wrong with that you say!?....Well, the problem is that she has agreed to go out with the person you are pretending to be, not the real you.

Humans are simple !

the lesson you have one life so go through it head high and being your self why waste time being some thing your not with so many of us in the world there is only one of your self so take pride in knowing that and be your self

E.G you may have two people in front of you and they look at you one might think omg .... is awful looking the other might think woooooow hot is not the word !!!!! so be your self there is some one for every one

two triangles
mental and the physical you need both to make things work

mental three corners are communication talking about a problem when it pops up and resolving it straight away (always talk about a problem as soon as possible better one problem than many and making the other person feel your picking at them )
trust if you trust that means people do and go were they want and don't need to explain who there with ect and were there going this is trust you trust them to do the right thing and they give respect to do the right thing
respect shouting at your partner is not respect or hitting them ect treat them as your best friend the same way you would like them to treat you

sexual connecting in the bedroom at a deeper level you can both learn things and try things ect it should be fun and you both should forget about the world around you as you in the moment if your thinking of the porn movie you watched last night or just trying to get it done with then theres a problem

physical triangle three corners are
physical attraction how you look at a person you should not feel that person need to change any thing I don't like her hair he not go gym enough she need to lose weight if you feel like that then there not the person for you move on

mental attraction you should want to spend time with each other be able to talk and feel like your having fun in the conversation and inputting equally and listing to every thing as you enjoying it lots and should feel easy and almost you can talk about all the things you like with no problems

After a long wait she seems to have finally returned from her vacation (or whatever) and now finally works in the shop again!

I founf this out while going shopping there with my pals. But for some reason i feel like not having any friends around when trying to ask her out.

I dunno why, only reson i can think of is that i'm afrain she'll like them more

So i could just go there now, but i'm sorta..... filthy. Not showering for several days does that. Strange isn't it?

So i'll get showering, and maybe do it tomorrow. If not, i'll try to be fresh when it comes around!
Plus my knee hurts, and more reasons not to is easy to come by

After a long time of cowardice, i seem to have failed....

I don't know why, i've twice had the perfect oppurtunity to ask her (as in she is working alone filling shelves 2 metres away) and..... i can't do it.

I just can't do it.

I seem to be able to psyche myself up, let's do this LEROY (yeah, you know) but when she stands there i'm frozen.... with fear i suppose.

And i can't seem to know why. I have reasoned that in the worst case, she says no. And in the best case she says yes.
In both cases i have an answer. And can move on with things from there.

But i can't make the final approach. Any ideas?

"Just do it" Didn't work.
Pro vs con reasoning didn't work.

Gah, why am i such a coward....

-puts on wizard cloak ( link ) and starts pacing- troublesome, troublesome indeed. I shall have to consult with my poker buddies I.E. Malcador, Teclis, Merlin and Gandalf.

-sometime later-

Word to the wise never try and out bluff Gandalf, I mean seriously he starred down a Greater Daemon of Khorne....Anyway we have discussed it and it may be cowardliness or it could be that when it gets to crunch time you get extremely nervous and freeze. I should know, been there one to many times. The only real remedy is........barrel through it. I know we've said it before but that's simply it. Best I can do: granted I'm not claiming to be Fing Casanova here, but the best we can do it give ya some tips the rest is up to you.

-Practice OUT LOUD in front of your mirror what you would say
-Say it over and over and over and over and over, so when it's crunch time you're body does it out of reflex
-Before you say anything take a 4 second breath, hold for 4 seconds, then let it out in 4 seconds, calms the nerves
-Repeat the breathing as necessary to calm thy nerves
-Just don't repeat too often or you'll miss the chance
-Second most important: Opportunities multiply as they are seized
-MOST IMPORTANTLY be yourself

I have done this very thing once before.

It took me 6 months to work up the guts to ask the receptionist at my local gym out.

I could just never find the perfect opportunity, every time either the rest of my football team or her colleagues were around.

In the end I walked back inside at closing time leaving my teammates staring and had to ask in front of her manager.

It was a success. With completely genuine tone and expression I said slowly:

'Hi'

'I see you here every week, and for six months now I\'ve wanted to ask you out because I think your beautiful'

at which point her and the manager are staring open mouthed as tumbleweed rolls past my ankles. Saying the words after thinking them for so long was akin to an outerbody experience, like i was watching someone else speak the words from my lips. I continue with a resigned tone:

'Sorry, you must have a boyfriend already'

She said no and couldn't think of one good reason why she wouldn't date me after laying it all out there.

We had the best summer ever before she moved abroad that September. Another three months of waiting and it would never have happened - just another regret to add to the list.

Klomster. Do it before she gets another job and you never see her again. Every day you waste, the chances you see her again diminish.

this was three years ago - we still speak all the time and hang out whenever we are in the same country, who knows what will become of it.

Be genuine

Tell her the truth

Say the words before you chicken out

If she pauses and looks uncomfortable then give her a way out, like I did when I assumed she had a boyfriend

Remember to take your phone with you, hopefully you will need it.

Don't rehearse, it needs to sound genuine - practiced and polished isn't endearing. Nervous and honest is.

Don't force it by doing it with an audience if you can avoid it but the next time you see her alone you have to make your move, you may never get another chance.

If you do it right but she says no she will still think you are a really nice guy and will appreciate the compliment.

Nice guys don't finish last, unless the're cowards

DOMIN4TRIX wrote:I have done this very thing once before.

It took me 6 months to work up the guts to ask the receptionist at my local gym out.

I could just never find the perfect opportunity, every time either the rest of my football team or her colleagues were around.

In the end I walked back inside at closing time leaving my teammates staring and had to ask in front of her manager.

It was a success. With completely genuine tone and expression I said slowly:

'Hi'

'I see you here every week, and for six months now I\'ve wanted to ask you out because I think your beautiful'

at which point her and the manager are staring open mouthed as tumbleweed rolls past my ankles. Saying the words after thinking them for so long was akin to an outerbody experience, like i was watching someone else speak the words from my lips. I continue with a resigned tone:

'Sorry, you must have a boyfriend already'

She said no and couldn't think of one good reason why she wouldn't date me after laying it all out there.

We had the best summer ever before she moved abroad that September. Another three months of waiting and it would never have happened - just another regret to add to the list.

Klomster. Do it before she gets another job and you never see her again. Every day you waste, the chances you see her again diminish.

this was three years ago - we still speak all the time and hang out whenever we are in the same country, who knows what will become of it.

Be genuine

Tell her the truth

Say the words before you chicken out

If she pauses and looks uncomfortable then give her a way out, like I did when I assumed she had a boyfriend

Remember to take your phone with you, hopefully you will need it.

Don't rehearse, it needs to sound genuine - practiced and polished isn't endearing. Nervous and honest is.

Don't force it by doing it with an audience if you can avoid it but the next time you see her alone you have to make your move, you may never get another chance.

If you do it right but she says no she will still think you are a really nice guy and will appreciate the compliment.

Nice guys don't finish last, unless the're cowards

+1
Well said brother!

Brother K there will never be a perfect time to ask, or a magical piece of advice that makes it all work.
YOU have to ask her out. Nothing ventured nothing gained, regret is harder to deal with than rejection.

Damn it, why do you always have to be right

It's just that i want a magical piece of advice, to fix my problems.

Oh well, she probably works today so i'll go check. Power through the fear, like a volcano cannon through a void shield. Power through.

I'll at least try again... no wait. I'll do it today!!!! (If she's there that is.)

As always you are the best. I'll keep you posted.

HAHA!!

I did it, I fucking did it!!!

She said no, but still. I FRIKKIN DID IT  

I took help from a friend. He was like a pillar of confidence in a situation of insecurity.

Way to frickin go Brother!!!!!!!!!!
I am super proud of you!!!!!!!!!!!

Klomster wrote:HAHA!!

I did it, I fucking did it!!!

She said no, but still. I FRIKKIN DID IT :cheers: 

I took help from a friend. He was like a pillar of confidence in a situation of insecurity.

congratulations! this is one more step of having more confidence. now go grab the next one and bite!