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The ladies.

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Post by Klomster Thu Feb 28, 2013 11:41 am

Some people likes eating shit. Carving their own flesh and banging their heads against trees.

There is always an exception to justify the rule.

I think i will go for keeping sorta clean all the time. It's a good start. Very Happy
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Post by Constantine Thu Feb 28, 2013 11:45 am

LOL!!!!!! Razz
WOW!!! Shocked That post seemed random brother! I laughed out loud in my office!
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Post by DOMIN4TRIX Thu Feb 28, 2013 11:47 am

As Grey Knights we have all been taught to purge the Great Unclean One. I know i'm preaching to the chapter here.

I simply mention this because I've met many less scrupulous opponents in the world of 40K, come to think of it they played Chaos / Orks / Necrons - what did I expect.
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Post by Constantine Thu Feb 28, 2013 11:58 am

LOL!!!

This guy knows the importance of blocking odor:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrE-AhX-qtk
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Post by Klomster Thu Feb 28, 2013 12:05 pm

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Post by Klomster Mon May 06, 2013 6:59 pm

A lot of time has passed since this topic updated.

Has anyone found some interesting people? Become more confident? Found new advise to give people or just a funny anekdote to mention?

Have the girls on this site stopped hiding and/or lurking?

Well, i've been trying to move on. I could go on and on about how awesome this purple haired lady is, but you can get the idea how i think from just theese senences.

So i tried something new.
A cashier at the local food store looked really nice (and good looking) so i thought. Hmm, i should try to get to know her.

But i'm super shy..... AHA, i'll give her a note!
And so i did. I wrote a note.

It basically said.
Hi, i am Klomster, i think you seem nice and would love to hang out.
If not, then i'll be cool with it. Have a great day!
Here are some ways to contact me. Telephone nr, email and facebook name.

Nothing cliché, like a poem or something. A poem would be so ridiculous Razz (Not bashing on poetry, but leave the poetry to poets i think.)

So i manned up enough so that when she was manning a cashier seat, i gave her the note, not looking her in the eyes and quickly got my stuff and left.........

Yup, that's me manning up.

In all fairness i ate a sandwich on a nearby bench.

So naturally, i get all pepped that she would call, or email. Or anything.
After a while i thought. Well, she might at least say she isn't interested.....
And now i guess i am going through the denial state. Perhaps she threw the note away? It wasn't super obvious it wasn't trash........ she could have thought it was trash i wanted her to throw away?

All in all. Not super succesful.

And i think i proved to myself how heads over heels in love with the purple haired lady i am.

Training day, a guy shows up in a full suit of historically accurate 15th century full plate.
1.5 mm steel, salet type helmet (my favorite) and generally awesome.

I of course nerd down a bit asking to look at some stuff and comment how awesome it is.

But not long thereafter. I notice that sure. A MMA fighter in fullplate is cool and all.
But she is over there, practicing simple 1-handed sword techniques against a dummy.......

I find myself staring.

She is really nice, and earnest, and likes my jokes, ad she's funny too.....

Did i mention she has a fine ass as well Razz

Yes, i should stop talking about her.
But it's hard.

I've been really earnest in wanting to tell her that i am. Heads over heels for her. I often say to myself, -"Meh, i'm only a few kilotonnes in love with her."
So i want to tell her!
But i haven't.... which sucks.

I'm rambling again.

So peoples, hope to hear from ya soon! Very Happy
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Post by Rion Mon May 06, 2013 8:10 pm

I was kind of lost for a second cause I don't think I've ever seen this topic in the time I've been here (not counting my leave of absence), anyway after reading the first paragraph of the first post and the new one I have to say Klomster at least you tried. And that my Brother is what matters at the end of the day.

My advise is just go talk to her, I know a mountains worth of work (tend to be shy around woman myself) but truth be told the note thing is kind of creepy Shocked . I speak from experience, I once walked out to my truck from class and found a love note stuck to it. Needless to say I jumped in made sure my then future girlfriend was buckled in (she was chilling with me after she got off from work) and sped away like a demon. The College Police didn't even try to catch me. Twisted Evil

But sense you brought it up I have to say I LUCKED OUT with my girlfriend. She told me that for Christmas, (on the condition that I forget by Christmas) she was making me a Grey Knight blanket! affraid And that she thought it would be fun to spend our forthcoming beach trip making a half scale replica of the god-emperor out of sand! I think I'm gonna die brothers, I have indeed been blessed with a nerd girl, who can out burp boy scouts (I am one), and still is hot as f***!!!!!!!

So I say again Brother Klomster talk to her. All it takes is that one brief moment of insane courage.
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Post by DOMIN4TRIX Mon May 06, 2013 8:22 pm

Personally I think the note needed a box for her to check!

I've done much the same with a waitress before now (left my number with the tip) but never got a response.

The problem with chatting up girls in their place of work is that they are a captive audience that is paid to be nice to the patrons. so even if they didn't want to talk to you socially they are forced to - so you can never tell if their interested or just being nice.

Also if you bomb out it kind of makes it awkward to go back there so be careful of shi*ing on your doorstep (sorry for the language mod's)

The girl with the purple hair...... is interested in the same stuff as you, finds you funny and enjoys spending her free time in your company - a much better match........ does she still have a boyfriend Klomster..........

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Post by Embolden40k Mon May 06, 2013 10:59 pm

"getting the girls" It's all about confidence, you have to speak to them face to face, a note won't get you anywhere, you have to do it face to face, I'm a shy, quiet person, but it only takes 10seconds to do (don't drag it out asking them out on a date), but it's a fine balance of showing interest and not being to OTT and telling a girl you love them without really knowing them.

Before my wife (who asked me out), I went out with a couple of girls, all of which I had to make the first move, it's about confidence of asking them out for a drink, film, meal or all of the above, then once you get a date it's about being yourself, don't try to pretend, men in general are not great at pretending, so just be yourself, a women will really appreciate that if things move on from the first date.

so good luck!

In regards of the hobby, I didn't actively say anything to my wife, I just left my stuff out when she came round one day after we had been going out for a week (we went out every day for a week, be it for a walk round the park, lunch, film, night out, meal etc etc) I had recently taken part in a grand tournament, so my army case was lying about and we got talking about that, she was a little taken a back, I'm not going to lie, but I think she appreciated the honesty and new I won't hide things from her, because that makes it worse, no matter what, because once you start lying, it's a bad road to go down.

So I've never actively said to anyone I'm a 40k player, I just don't hide it, so if they ask, I tell them, so it's never been a big deal for me.
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Post by xFallenx Tue May 07, 2013 9:43 am

DOMIN4TRIX wrote:
The problem with chatting up girls in their place of work is that they are a captive audience that is paid to be nice to the patrons. so even if they didn't want to talk to you socially they are forced to - so you can never tell if their interested or just being nice.

Also if you bomb out it kind of makes it awkward to go back there so be careful of shi*ing on your doorstep (sorry for the language mod's)

^^ This.
How about travel? When I broke off with my GF of 8 years that was the first thing I started doing. I joined a site called Suicide Girls in 2003, chatted in the forums about travel, where/what etc. I was bombarded with suggestions & filtered them down to where I would enjoy going and just went. The first place was Australia, I met a load of people, had an amazing time. From there I traveled closer to home, I live in Canada, so the US was the obvious choice. I went to Seattle, San Fran, LA, Vegas, Washington (Twice, one of which was to meet my future bride) Florida, Hawaii and finally Cuba. I went on these trips solo in order to break my comfort zone & meet amazing (Some of which were total turds while others are now lifelong friends) people from SG.

Travelling is one of the most amazing things you can do for yourself. It builds confidence, character & most importantly it provides you with the stories you’ll tell for the rest of your life. Meeting people along the way is a bonus that will pay dividends. It’ll break you out of your comfort zone and give you the tools you’ll find handy when chatting up purple hair & the future miss Klomster. You don’t need to fly to another country either, just take a week, $1,000 bucks and hit the train as far as you dare, find a large city & jump from hostel to hostel chatting with your house mates as chances are pretty good, they are doing the same thing as you are.
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Post by Klomster Wed May 08, 2013 8:14 am

1'000$.....

1'200$ is all the money i own, and it needs to last a long time Sad Sure i get some 700$ a month but it mostly gets eaten in taxes, bills and food.

I can't afford travelling, it would be nice to go somewhere (the longest from hone i've been is in the southern part of sweden.... second furthest was norway. I've never travelled any other places Sad )

As for the purple haired lady, yes she still have that damnably handsome and nice and probably rich and all that boyfriend.
I know i shouldn't but i find myself disliking him. For obvious reasons.

And the girl in the store.
I said she seemed nice. I've never actually talked to her. Just used my ultra empathic psychic powers.
I'm mostly thinking here if she wasn't interested, she could just send an email, or sms or whatever and say no thatnks. And i'd be cool with it. It's the fact i don't know what she thinks.

Oh well, i realize that this entire thread has become a sort of counselling for me and no one else (which is funny and sad in a kind of way) unlike what i intended.
But it seems i'm more alone in this than i first thought.

When it comes down to it i'm a heavily depressed not that fair looking guy with no money and lacking hope. Not really the iron foundation you build a steely confidence from.
It's more one made of wood, a facade. Which can easily break if not tended constantly. (Which it has done, emotional breakdown is no fun.)

Oh well, at least i'm awesome!

Looking forward to more stories. They are all interesting to read Very Happy
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Post by zhambah Wed May 08, 2013 9:09 am

Just wanted to pop in here and say. if you want to know how she feels (the girl in the store) ask her out for drinks. like you said, if she said no you'd be cool with it. and then atleast you would know.

as for your issues, I would say you're depressed because your stuck in a rut, you're too timid to do anything about it even though you don't like your situation.

As for money... money isnt everything like the old saying goes: "money can't buy happiness." my personal history is a lesson in that. I worked my way up to be a lead animator for an average sized game company. I was getting paid big time. But i wasnt happy. I spent all the time managing other people that I didnt have a life of my own. so now i work freelance, and it pays far far far less. but i can honestly say i'm happier, I have time to spend with my friends and family which is more important than going on holiday every month or so

And I dont think you're lacking hope, I think your lacking ambition. you hope that the purple haired lady will leave her man and go with you... but you dont even have the ambition to find out what the girl in the store thinks about you.

Also, I think this is far more common that what people lead you to believe. confidence is the key like others have said. but it doesn't have to be real confidence. I front like a motherlover. If you ever meet me, you would probably think im loud and boisterous. but that is just front. which i put on to protect some of my own issues that i have.

My advice to you. talk to the girl. hell talk to the purple hair lady... tell her shes fione (that's fine with a o in it) she probably wont do anything, But it will make her feel good/desirable. hell, even talk to the boyfriend... just make casual conversation that he picked up a real stunner within ear shot of her. doing any of these things helps to boost your confidence. and while we all take a knock now and then... its better to be knocked down and get back up than it is just to lay there and give up

anyway, thats my ramble and 2 cents

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Post by Klomster Wed May 08, 2013 10:01 am

I think a better bet than asking her out for drinks would be asking her just to hang out.
Then it's a more open question since she doesn't have the option of denying simply coz it's drinks.

On the other hand (and your other examples.) you are completely right.

I lack ambition, i should talk to both of them and i should do something with my life.

Hope.... i have some hope.
I found myself checking my email to see if she sent a mail. But alas she didn't'

The biggest problem isn't that i might be dissapointed. The problem is the act.
The fact i am gonna do it.
That means i am going to talk to someone i don't know? (Who isn't drunk, scary thought!)
What if she wants to hang out? That's even more terrifying?

I worry to much. This countered with not caring a bit doesn't add up. But nothing ever adds up so i guess it makes sense.
I guess i don't make sense right now.......
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Post by zhambah Wed May 08, 2013 11:46 am

s'ok I know someone who had the same problem. could only talk to women when he had a drink in him. hes turned into a right douche... but he can talk to girls now lol

yeah your right about the drinks... asking to hang out would mean less pressure better overall.

things may be terrifying, but nothing worth doing was ever easy. go for it man.

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Post by Rion Wed May 08, 2013 2:56 pm

I'll properly quote a friend who I quoted earlier. "That one moment of insane courage can mean more then money, looks, and silver tongues. Now do it, the man I know is fearless."
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Post by Klomster Thu May 09, 2013 2:15 am

Well, i guess you are right.....

Only one real problem. She doesn't work every day, and i'm not that much of a stalker and figured all of her shifts out.

So i go shopping an awful lot, which isn't all bad, even if i don't ask her when i go or she isn't there. At the very least i get exercise.
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Post by Constantine Thu May 09, 2013 9:03 am

Just do it Brother! All this typing and overevaluating the situation is making you soft! Razz

Pull up your storm trooper big boy pants, stop talking about doing this, and do it!!!
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Post by volvoe Thu May 09, 2013 9:23 am

Just like the Nike slogan!
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Post by xFallenx Thu May 09, 2013 9:29 am

Klomster wrote:Well, i guess you are right.....

Only one real problem. She doesn't work every day, and i'm not that much of a stalker and figured all of her shifts out.

So i go shopping an awful lot, which isn't all bad, even if i don't ask her when i go or she isn't there. At the very least i get exercise.

Less shopping & more travel.
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Post by Klomster Thu May 09, 2013 2:13 pm

I think you are actually wrong about talking about it making it worse... or perhaps.....

Anyway, i went shopiing today. And lo, she was there.

And it was all, i shall do it, i am badass!
NO, one cannot do it. It is impossible!
It's no problem silly fool, just go forth and ask her. The worst thing possible is a no.
No, one does not understant, no is not worst answer..... IT IS SIMPLE ANSWER!
Just do it.
But, she is in the cashier seat.
So?
There will be others in line.
So? Did you notice i am badass and do whatever the fuck i want?
AHA! One will be in the ways, yes, person after, not polite to be in the way.
Curses. The little rat is right. I'm far to gentlemanly to let some random person wait because of me.
Hehe, dodged it.
You escaped this time. But you only prolonged it!

(Imagine smeagol vs gollum, except it's the new me versus the old wuss me.)

I even went back to the store. Thought about doing it again.

I ended up talking to an old friend who works there. Which isn't all bad, but she was the real reason.

Damn i'm pathetic.

Oh well. Lots of exerscise. Perhaps not lots but close to an hour walking there and back again a few times.
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Post by volvoe Thu May 09, 2013 3:37 pm

Perhaps you can try to ask someone else out to a date that you're not as intimidated by? Let's say a complete stranger that you'll never meet ever (or very little chance to meet) again . That way you're not butthurt by rejection, and you gain experience (and hopefully confidence) in asking a girl out. Don't expect too much because the girl you're asking isn't the one you've been aiming for. That way you can overcome your fear of rejection, jitters, or what not. By all means I'm not suggesting you be a complete jerk towards women but assuming that all goes well with #2 let her know that you just want to be friends in case she's expecting anything. And say the date goes horribly wrong, at least you learned something.
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Post by Constantine Fri May 10, 2013 8:44 am

volvoe wrote:Perhaps you can try to ask someone else out to a date that you're not as intimidated by? Let's say a complete stranger that you'll never meet ever (or very little chance to meet) again . That way you're not butthurt by rejection, and you gain experience (and hopefully confidence) in asking a girl out. Don't expect too much because the girl you're asking isn't the one you've been aiming for. That way you can overcome your fear of rejection, jitters, or what not. By all means I'm not suggesting you be a complete jerk towards women but assuming that all goes well with #2 let her know that you just want to be friends in case she's expecting anything. And say the date goes horribly wrong, at least you learned something.

Hmmmm........... I am not so sure about this advice scratch Too many things can go wrong.
Why waist time, energy, and potentially create drama when it is not needed?

Don't over complicate the situation. You like this girl, focus on her. Don't play with other's emotions and your own.
Wht not ask your friend at the store when the girl you like is taking a break and ask her then (No worry of making others wait or having an audience). OR ask your friend to help you talk with the girl you like.

You are SOOOO close Klomster! Don't give up! Carpe Diem!!!!!! cheers
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Post by Klomster Fri May 10, 2013 8:37 pm

I'm sort of skeptical to that advice myself.

Sure, asking random girls about stuff.
You know the way here? Do you have a lighter? Are you part of the triumvirate?

Just asking girls stuff that doesn't matter is great practise.

I should ask those questions to people, would be hilarious to see their responses Very Happy

Regardless. Asking about a date is very personal. I intend to not ask for dates. Since that sounds cliche and will put pressure on my weaker self.

If i instead ask for hanging out. It's not as personal, and more appealing for anyone.
Do you want to hang out?
And do what?
I dunno, talk about the weather, or whatever comes up.

Is more open than.
Do you want to go to a date?
Geez, i dunno, i don't know you really.
DO YOU, DATE? WANNA GO!!!??!! geek
Uuuuuh...... scratch
*Foam in mouth*

That's the difference.
I could agree to it being good advice, if you had said ask random girls to hang out. That'd be real great. Or if you can walk with them for a while. Chatting.

Great advice. I should do it. Problem is i don't do stuff i should do.
I do other things. Like posting stuff on forums and look a 9gag.

And play harmonica for random people outside a bar. Best social training i've got.
It's funny how alcohol helps me here. I have zero, nill problems with talking to a drunk person (or someone that goes into the "probably drunk" category) they are drunk. So i can just talk to them.

The cashier girl is at work, and certainly not drunk. I can't talk to her! She's not drunk!!!
And no, this isn't gonna be solved with me with drinks giving it to girls all over. it's irresponsible and they might get ferocious.

I'm giving good examples. Better than usual i feel.
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Post by SmokinBrown Tue May 28, 2013 5:37 pm

I've just sat and read all of this thread lol. Well I've been watching family guy at the same time. First of all I'll apologise in advance for how poor my writing skills are, I will more than likely fail to effectively confer anything of meaning and it will just all look like the rambling of a mad man.

The most important thing I can think of is: don't copy anything someone says in a film. In films it sounds romantic and girls love it. In real life it sounds creepy and girls hate it.

Personally I have never really just walked up to a girl and asked her out or anything like that, you don't need to. At school I wasn't very popular but I had a couple of close friends. When I went to university I started going out more and joining new clubs and trying new things to get to know people and make new friends, boost my confidence and expand into other social circles.

Not that I had much of a problem with the ladies before university, just not at school really.

Meeting girls through friends is good. Perhaps you could get your friend at the store to introduce you? I met my current girlfriend through a friend which goes to a different university when I was visiting him.

Alcohol helps, but there are other ways to boost confidence. I joined the gym, and I wouldn't say it has improved my physical appearance, but it certainly makes me feel good and healthy and I feel that makes a huge difference in my confidence levels.

When I was reading through this I had loads of ideas in my head but know it comes to putting them into writing it's difficult.

Maybe you could suggest that a group of you from your sword practice group go for drinks after a session some time? you seem to have more confidence when your around people you know, which goes the same for us all, and this will lift some of the pressure of you being the only one to have to talk to the purple haired girl. I'm not encouraging you to try and steal this girl off her boyfriend, as she would most likely resent that, but getting to know her more in a setting outside of your meetings/sessions along with a group of others can't hurt, and I think you would be less likely to fall into the "friend zone" if there was a group of you there. Don't talk to her the whole time and talk to everyone, you seem like a funny and charming chap and I'm sure she'll come to realise it.

SB
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Post by Klomster Tue May 28, 2013 6:42 pm

Don't worry SmokinBrown, after reading your post it made me realise even more how much of a rambling madman i am when writing.

And thanks for the tips, i shall see what the future holds.

I found a useful tip for those that have huge crushes and don't dare do anything.
(Like me.)

Compose a letter.
Write a personal message which describes your feelings in a respectable way. Make sure it's properly spelled and fleshed out. Perhaps write about the crush in a third person perspective (perhaps fourth... that's what i did anyway)

Then you will have a letter. I did mine on a .txt file. Intended it to go on facebook pm's.
But i haven't, just writing the message was very therapeutical and i will have it in case i feel like sending it.

So write a message, you don't have to send it. But start with the intention to do so.
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