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The ladies.

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Post by Klomster Wed Feb 13, 2013 10:22 am

Speaking of female users on this forum....

Where are they?

I think they should join in as well. Since this is a great discussions for them as well.
They could even give us some tips Razz

So any ladies on the site reading this. I'll buy ya an imaginary drink (any kind you like!) And you, me and all these other charming gentlemen can talk about this interesting topic.

See ya later Very Happy
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Post by xFallenx Wed Feb 13, 2013 10:56 am

DOMIN4TRIX wrote:Two things I always remind myself of when talking to beautiful women:

The most beautiful woman in a room is often the most lonely as less men have the nerve to approach her

However stunning a woman is there is a man somewhere that is sick of having sex with her


I had written out a whole life story to share, but as I’m not one to share, just want to add to Dominatrix very true statements:

1) Get to know yourself before you expect anyone else to get to know you.
2) Be honest with yourself, work on the things that you’re not happy with & embrace the things that make you happy. If you’re happy, you’ll project it and draw people to you. Remember that we are a work in progress without finish (well, till we’ve passed that is).
3) Travel: Traveling on your own puts you in a position where your strengths & weaknesses are put to the test. I spent 12 days in Havana on my own. I truly came back a different person.
4) Keep your expectations within reason. Don’t settle for someone as it’s not only unfair to yourself, but the person you’ve settled with. Don’t set your sights too high as again, living up to the expectations of others leads to unhappiness.
5) Be honest (yes, twice) with yourself. This will allow you to evolve & push yourself from stagnating. The biggest challenge within a relationship (once you get there, & you will), besides the day to day wear & tear, is stagnation. Knowing yourself allows you to evolve within an honest relationship.
6) Never be afraid to say no. There are literally millions of woman in the world. If you find yourself with one that insist’s you do something you’re not comfortable with, stand your ground. There are points that will require compromise, & that’s natural, but don’t compromise yourself.
7) Never stop working on yourself. Don’t lose who you are as a person inside of a relationship.

I was going through the death rattles of a long term relationship(7 years) that ended because we came to a cross roads where our expectations & needs from the relationship split. We wasted three years trying to fix something that wasn’t fixable. We had simply outgrown our situation. We had settled and grown stagnant as opposed to inspiring one another to continue growing.

At this point I started to travel, Australia/Cuba/ Canada/USA. I joined a site; I eventually met my wife through, and met up with people in every city I traveled to. I got to know what I liked/expected in a friend/lover as well as what I could supply to the same in turn.

Being honest with both myself, and the bride to be, we decided that we could build a life together that would make us both happy. Our 5th year Anni is Mar 14th & I couldn’t be happier. She doesn’t mind, & even enjoys(board-games if not the mini’s) my hobbies, & I enjoy that fact that she enjoys hers(She lives to decorate for holidays, Valentine’s day to Christmas we always have decorations going up & coming down from the walls). I, with her encouragement, play warhammer to release the stress of my work which in turn allows me to focus my non stressed self on her & our family. These hobbies are the balance to my responsibilities. (Ok, so I shared a little bit of my story to put my points into context)
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Post by jb317 Wed Feb 13, 2013 12:18 pm

Apologies for my foul language. I'll keep it clean from now on. silent

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Post by Constantine Wed Feb 13, 2013 12:45 pm

Zealadin wrote: I would agree with Constantine, but what are standards really, but preconceived ideas based on seeing what someone looks like.
Not everyone is going to be stunning, far better to meet people and find someone truly special. There are many kinds of beauty.

When I referred to standards I did not mean physical ones Brother. You are right that there are many kinds of beauty... Just look at the section with our pictures in it. Wink
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Post by Rivan Wed Feb 13, 2013 2:05 pm

jb317 wrote:Apologies for my foul language. I'll keep it clean from now on. silent

No worries JB Smile Would have been fine in an all-male audience. I also have to remind myself sometimes that we actually have a few female members Razz
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Post by Zealadin Wed Feb 13, 2013 8:52 pm

Constantine wrote:
Zealadin wrote: I would agree with Constantine, but what are standards really, but preconceived ideas based on seeing what someone looks like.
Not everyone is going to be stunning, far better to meet people and find someone truly special. There are many kinds of beauty.

When I referred to standards I did not mean physical ones Brother. You are right that there are many kinds of beauty... Just look at the section with our pictures in it. Wink

Sorry I didn't mean to point your comment out specifically or target you, the quote was because I agree with you then went off on a tangent! Just in general that there are standards (from a self respect and respecting someone else perspective) and then there are shallow standards Razz
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Post by Constantine Wed Feb 13, 2013 9:11 pm

It's all good Brother, I just wanted to make sure I was not misinterpreted as shallow Razz
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Post by Zealadin Wed Feb 13, 2013 9:44 pm

Not at all! I actually retyped it out a few times till I got to where I thought I wasn't putting it like that, but it's hard on the internet!
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Post by DOMIN4TRIX Thu Feb 14, 2013 9:58 am

Happy Valentines day all! I'm expecting epic tales of romance and courtship to be posted later from the singletons!
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Post by Klomster Thu Feb 14, 2013 10:17 am

Perhaps i should go and play harmonica today.

After all, loads of other people are gonna go on dates and stuff, i should play for them, and perhaps find someone who didn't get a date Very Happy

Happy valentines. Or as i know it so far.... thursday!

And remember, it's only different from thursday, if you make it different from thursday!
If you haven't got a date, use this day to improve yourself. Whichever way you deem necessary.

Happy hunting Razz And happy thursday!
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Post by Inquisitor Lord Thu Feb 14, 2013 12:47 pm

+1 plus I will have put up the answear to all your qustions tommrow brothers Smile
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Post by Klomster Thu Feb 14, 2013 6:53 pm

Well, nothing really happened when i was out.

Looking forward to seeing your post IL Very Happy
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Post by Klomster Tue Feb 26, 2013 3:07 am

Seems like our good IL is trying to run away Razz

It matters not, i could tell a little story, since that is what i do.


I was going to just another training session with heavy fighting. And there was a new newbie, a kinda short lady with purple hair..... (yep natural purple, i guess it counts as red.)

Apparently she's into fighting, thinks it's fun, likes 2-handed sword fighting (my favorite weapon) and is also into archery, and apparently is kinda good at all of the above.

And, she's good looking and really nice.

It took some time to realise it but eventually i got it, i was like, drop dead in love with the chick.
I used to sit outside her apartment on a small artificial hill and play the harmonica, i went to the medieval association coz she might show up there and just tried to see her.

Then, she got a boyfriend (some ordinary bloke, really ordinary from what i could see. Why have an ordinary bloke when you can have me?)

I was really bummed out, and didn't go to the association for weeks, neither to training (although training i actually were doing other things.)

So i went to training this sunday, and she was there and i mostly made a novel appearance. (Being sick i didn't fight.)
After training, me and her like sat and spoke, and after realizing we would both like to try bagpipes, we had similar music tastes.
And, she genuinely asked how i was and why i was it when i mentioned i was depressed.

On top of aöö this, she couldn't get over the fact how awesome i was that i actually go around and play the harmonica Very Happy

Instant relapse Razz this is a really nice lady.

We just have that boyfriend problem...... i guess smothering him in his sleep is a bit dramatic, so is a greatsword.....

I guess the best thing is to play it cool. I mean i can still hang out with her from time to time. And it's good practice to speak with someone like that.

Well, that was that. I think i'm rambling again.
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Post by Zealadin Tue Feb 26, 2013 5:24 am

If the boyfriend doesn't work he will eventually disappear...
Just a matter of making sure your there when it happens.

Sounds like you are perfect for each other and she has obviously noticed you.
Plus friendship is the best place to start.
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Post by Thraxdown Tue Feb 26, 2013 9:24 am

You might just tell her Klomster. Just be up front like, "hey I know you have a boyfriend and I respect that. I'm not going to get in the way of your relationship. But if you guys ever break up call me because I would like to take you out."

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Post by Rivan Tue Feb 26, 2013 10:02 am

+1 w/ Zealadin on friendship--always a great way to start

+1 w/ Thraxdown on the up-front tactic. Never hurts to let her know, in a polite way that you're interested in her. Girls love this anyway. And she already knows if ever she does break up w/ her current beau.
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Post by Klomster Tue Feb 26, 2013 12:24 pm

Dunno, you are talking to the guy who spent his childhood hiding from people and being to shy to ask my mother for ice-cream.

But i'll take it into consideration, after all. I am awesome, and she admitted that Very Happy
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Post by Souba Tue Feb 26, 2013 2:56 pm

you are sitting in a cafe.. in the cinema or whereever.. dont know where you hang out. see a girl you might want to know more off go talk to her. dont be shy. talk to her about things based on the surrounding..
there are some things to note for a more successful conversation or first contact:

1. dont be shy. even though girls act as if they like those bad man with bikes and stuff its not actually the bike, beeing badass or anything. its the confidence. so far you are a nice and funny guy as i picture you if you just man up a bit and go straight for the girl and talk to her, you show some confidence towards her and it will impress her more and make you more attractive.

2. use many questions.. simple stuff nothing to personal from the start. you dont want to creep her out like a stalker but want to start a conversation. make her feel comfortable. dont get too close or try to touch her. let her her room and it will work out. with a question she always has a "need" to respond. there are so many ways to start it.

3. dont get down if a girl doesnt bite... it happens and its not like you lost anything asking her. its not like they talk stuff behind your back afterwards like : "there was this guy klomster.. god he was a jerk etc." its more like "there was a guy.. dont know his name but i rejected him" they dont know you. they dont know where you live or anything.
thats more reason for you to be more confident.. its not like you lose something of yourself if you talk to a unknown woman that you think is attrative.. its more of a loss if you dont talk to her and a few hours/days later you think "damn i should have talked to her"

there are many ways to start a conversation like in the cinema like "what movie are you in?" or "i/we cant decide what to watch coz we missed our movie... any ideas?" (if you got a female friend this stuff is the honey the bees gather around.)
or the best line in a cafe (had that 2 times and both worked) : "a friend just hang up on me and i got a free ticket. care to join me?".

there are so many ways to start a conversation... she is reading a book? talk to her about it.. maybe its not the type of book you would read but that she doesnt know.. you can say stuff like " i wanted to give my aunt/grandma/friend a present and thought of a book. heard of yours before.. can you consider it as a good present?"

you cant lose anything klomster. be creative (for that you surely are!) and held your head up high. have confidence in yourself and it will work out better as you expect it to be. Smile

and for the lady you met at your training. keep it slow. seems like you got similar interrests wich always helps out. get to know each other better and be confident.. girls love that... seriously.
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Post by Constantine Tue Feb 26, 2013 3:36 pm

Klomster wrote:Dunno, you are talking to the guy who spent his childhood hiding from people and being to shy to ask my mother for ice-cream.

But i'll take it into consideration, after all. I am awesome, and she admitted that Very Happy

Just be careful that you don't cross into the "friend zone" there is no coming back from that. If you like her, let her know.

CARPE DIEM BROTHER K!!!!!!!!
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Post by Zealadin Wed Feb 27, 2013 2:30 am

I don't know... while it wasn't this way with me and the missus a lot of our group of friends who were all friends, ended up going out with each other.
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Post by Constantine Wed Feb 27, 2013 8:14 am

Zealadin wrote:I don't know... while it wasn't this way with me and the missus a lot of our group of friends who were all friends, ended up going out with each other.

I definitely acknowledge that it is different for everyone, but it never hurts to send out those I want more than friendship vibes via flirting and chemistry between you.
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Post by Alladin the Paladin Wed Feb 27, 2013 8:24 am

Constantine wrote:
Just be careful that you don't cross into the "friend zone" there is no coming back from that. If you like her, let her know.

I agree with the above. While friendship does often blossom into love, there is almost always a point of "no return" where the girl (or guy) forever sees you as non-relationship material.

If you pursue the friendship route, absolutely do it on your own terms. Don't make personal sacrifices that you are not happy with in order to make her "like you" because its rarely worth it, and does not work to strengthen the boyfriend image, but the rather the friend image.

If you are okay with just being friends, then fine, just be yourself, chill, and maybe good things will happen. On the other hand, if you will always feel sad that you and her never got a chance to be together, then I would put your feelings out there and let her decide:

After a few more meetings exchanging friendly banter, ask her for a coffee after one of the sessions. Here, tell her that you think she is great, bla bla bla, wonderful, yadda yadda - whatever you feel. Then tell her that you respect her as a person, and respect and the fact that she has a boyfriend and so you don't want to build a friendship over the misunderstanding that you are comfortable being just that - a friend.

Then say that you would like the opportunity to continue to get to know each other, but that you need her to be comfortable with the fact that your feelings are your feelings and they won't change.

...

Something along the lines above. After that, it is up to her reaction. If she doesnt want to give up on the idea of you, she will keep the line open. At this point, put on your charm and arrange another date! Worst case scenario, she says she really loves her boyfriend and doesn't feel comfortable, and you don't waste years of your life hoping he will mess up, or she will get bored of him and come to you. Then just say that you respect that and you will give her her space, but if her feelings change she should know that you are only one longsword away (that sounds dirtier on print than in my head - you may not want to say that exact line...)


You could also be more aggressive and not leave the choice in her hands, but based on your self assessment, that doesn't sound like your type. It's not mine too - I am not one to go to a girl and say that I love her and she needs to leave her boyfriend for me.

My two cents... Disclaimer: I am not a relationship counsellor. Follow advice at your own risk.
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Post by DOMIN4TRIX Wed Feb 27, 2013 10:03 am

I'm not sure the friend zone is somewhere you can drift into - someone you like that you are attracted to has relationship potential - someone you like that you aren't attracted to is a friend. It's the same girls or guys over.

If your in the friend zone try getting a hair cut, some nicer clothes, be more conscious of simple things like personal hygiene (a given for most but a real turn off if you overlook it) and down the gym thrice a week to try and claw yourself back out - in short be as attractive as you can be.

When i'm single these are the changes I try to make - if nothing else it gives me more confidence which is half the battle - if you think your worth it so will she (sorry for the cliche)

This is obvious practical stuff I know, but this is really the only advice there is - I never give out or accept actual relationship advice.

Only the two people involved know every nuance of the situation so commenting from the outside looking in is impossible. Besides you always want to call the shots in your relationship, losing a girl to someones bad advice would be terrible - if she doesn't like you for you it's a shame but she obviously isn't smart enough to see how great you are.

But trust me on the practical stuff - no girl ever left a guy because his body was too nice or he smelt too good and i'm sure there are those that actually quite like it.
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Post by Klomster Thu Feb 28, 2013 11:33 am

no girl ever left a guy because his body was too nice or he smelt too good and i'm sure there are those that actually quite like it.

Nah, i'm not buying it......................... *cough* not at all. (Knows that this is the only way ANYONE is going to want to be near you at all. Not to mention anyone to actually find one attractive.)

It's interesting how a simple story can spark such advice, only on grey knights forum i guess Razz

I will take your advice to heart. I shall forever become more confident, i've survived school, where other humans were terrifying, i've grown through the ages (meaning years, but ages sounds more epic Razz) and can speak with anyone nowadays without much problem.

That is about trivialities, but alas, i shall become more confident here aswell, learn to speak how i feel with anyone, for non can harm me (too much confidence mayhaps?). For it is very practical. It seems its that way you swoon the ladies.

Oh, and Alladin, it's greatsword arm. I'm a big boy Razz (I will give these mental images to you as a gift Twisted Evil )

I shall see what oppurtunities i will have to speak with her, since i'd love to do it more. (Do note that i've probably only spoken to her a couple of times, met her at all a dozen or so.)

Well, until later!
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Post by Constantine Thu Feb 28, 2013 11:35 am

Some women like smelly guys...... Just saying Razz
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