Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

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Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by The Legionnaire on Sun Nov 25, 2007 2:45 pm

Okay, hi there every-one *Waves*. This is the first chapter, If it does good i'll write up chapter 2, if not..well Surprised.

Chapter one

The planet seemed silent as I stepped out of the space shuttle my metal studded boots clanking. I looked around; scanning the now darkening horizon, what could the Inquisition want with this planet? I asked myself. A short man ran across the landing pad, bringing up clouds of sand as he ran, his clothing seemed damp, his face covered by a small black cap, a Lasgun slung across his shoulder.
As he drew closer I noticed the small tattoo on his right arm, Two crossed swords over an Eagle. He saluted crisply, I returned it as smartly as possible (Well as smartly as it is possible to salute after being trapped in a small space shuttle hurtling through space for the last 8 hours).
He waved me forward, I frowned; all Imperial forces were required to start/end a sentence with “Sir”. He just stood there oblivious to the look on my face and continued waving me forward. I scooped up my kit-bag from the floor and set off at a brisk pace to catch him. We headed off towards the eastern side of the pad where a truck was parked. The sun was almost set when we reached the truck, I struggled to make out the markings on the side of the Chimera, I just smiled; that’s how the we Inquisitors liked our covert operations (Very secretive to say the least, so secretive that many don’t know why were around).
I clambered into the back of the Chimera, struggling to keep my balance due my metal studded boots; I sat down on the crude wooden bench then nodded solemnly to each one of the Imperial Guard troopers in the truck (7 if I counted correctly).
I closed my eyes, in a few hours I would be in my new office drinking tea. My eyes shot open as if I’d been stirred from a bizarre dream, there was a Laspistol pointing at my head. I reeled backwards, pressing my back against the cold metal of the Chimera…That was why the Inquisition had sent me here… My head began spinning…Someone had known that there were traitors here yet they hadn’t told me. I dropped my kit bag…someone had set me up…

I opened my eyes some hours later, my memories seemed blurry, I was unable to remember what had happened. I looked around and took in my surroundings, I was in a small room with no windows and only a large metal door, by it was a small chair. The short man was standing over me; his Lasgun aiming loosely at my head. I glared at him in confusion, he smiled down at me. I looked at his face and realised why he’d kept a black cap on at the landing pad, his face was deformed with a Las Bolt hole in the Left side of this face, I grinned at him. He noticed my smile and brought his foot down hard on my right hand, I yelped in agony as a loud cruching sound erupted from my wrist. He laughed and walked towards the door and sat down in the small chair by it.
I tried to ignore the pain and started thinking of a plan…Now if only I could get the short man to come over to me.
I laughed and called, “Hey Ugly!”.
The short man stood up and walked in anger towards me, obviously intent on kicking me. He loomed over me, and kicked me in the stomach; I swung my left leg round to trip him over, he fell and landed on the floor with a crash, I lifted my right leg up and then smashed it into the small man’s face, the metal studs in my boots obviously making quite an effect as blood seeped over the floor, his body seemed to warp into a spasm momentarily but stopped soon after, his body lay still.
I crawled over to the carcass and rolled the small man’s body over, I then tore the keys off the chain on his belt. I stood up and walked over to the Lasgun that now lay strewn on the floor near the small man’s body I picked it up with my left hand still aware that my wrist was broken. I walked casually towards the large metal door, I fiddled with the key chain for a few minutes trying to find the right key, I inserted a key with a skull shaped head into the key hole, I was rewared with a satisfying click as the door unlocked. I raised the Lasgun to my shoulder as I pushed the door open, I was standing in a long corridor; it looked like I was in a disused Manufaturum building. The sound of gunfire clattered through the corridor as a small firefight broke out futher down the corridor, I could make out five figures with their backs turned to me firing down the corridor toward what looked like to be Imperial Guard troopers, I grinned and raised the Lasgun so that I was aiming at one of the men with his back turned, I pulled the trigger, a lasbolt erupted from the end of the barrel and exploded into the the man’s back, the other four men were so engrossed in the firefight they barely seemed to notice their fallen comrade. A flak grenade exploded in the middle of the 4 remaining men, a loud bang rang out along the corridor, I ducked; just in time too. A large piece of concrete flew over me and missed by 3 inches, I stood up and continued down the corridor with caution towards the Imperial Guard troopers. They raised their Lasguns when they noticed me walking towards them. I stopped…they must have thought I was a traitor.
“Stop!” I called out just before they could fire.
“I am Inquisitor Quail, hold your fire!” I called again.
One trooper (obviously the squad leader) stepped forwards and examined my uniform.
“Inquisitor Quail!” He gasped in shock. “It is you!”.
“Its good to see Imperial Guard troopers, what’s your name and rank trooper?”
“Veneres, Sergeant Sir“. He replied.
“Why are you here?”. I asked in a somewhat confused voice.
“To rescue you sir, You are Inquisitor Quail sent here by the Inquisition are you not sir?”
I looked at him with a look of awe, a rescue mission for me? “Yes that is me” was all I could think to say.
“Very good then sir lets get you to Headquarters sir”.
Veneres then turned to his squad and issued some orders which I couldn’t quite make out. He then turned back to me and said. “Follow us sir”.
I simply nodded. Veneres’ squad began moving at a brisk pace back to the end of the corridor, I followed, I was not intent on getting lost in this place. I followed the squad down a flight of stairs and then into a courtyard where we stopped.
Veneres turned to me and said “This is our pick up point sir, a truck is en-route now to pick us up, it should be here within the next few minutes”.
I nodded and scanned the court-yard we were standing in, the buildings had a somewhat gothic design there was something about them that made me shiver, the sleek black colour and the strange markings carved onto the walls made this place feel eerie. My thoughts were broken by the all too familiar sound of a Chimera. The Chimera reared around the corner at almost needless speed and stopped in the opening that connected the factory outlet to the road. Veneres’ squad jumped into the Chimera one by one; Veneres and I sat in the front seats, the driver then set off. There was something going on here...And I was going to find out what.




Bring on the comments Rolling Eyes.

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Re: Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by Inquisitor Lord on Sun Nov 25, 2007 3:00 pm

gggggrrrrrrr weres part two i was getting into that Very Happy

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Re: Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by Brother_Marine on Mon Nov 26, 2007 9:19 am

Hey it was good nice use of adjectives.

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Re: Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by The Legionnaire on Mon Nov 26, 2007 10:06 am

Thanks, im starting part 2 now.

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Re: Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by Inquisitor Lord on Mon Nov 26, 2007 1:08 pm

work faster lol i need to know lol

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Re: Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by The Legionnaire on Mon Nov 26, 2007 1:18 pm

I'm not "Super Boy" it took 4 days to write Chapter 1 lol.

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Re: Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by Brother-Captain Validi on Mon Nov 26, 2007 1:25 pm

It's great so far, can't wait for the 2nd chapter!!!

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Re: Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by Becci on Thu Dec 13, 2007 1:34 pm

Wow Andy, I didn't know you could write storys this well!! I can't wait for Chapter 2!

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Re: Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by The Legionnaire on Thu Dec 13, 2007 1:41 pm

Aww thanks Becci, I need to talk to you about something that we shoud both put up in The Archives, i'll PM you.

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Re: Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by The Legionnaire on Thu Dec 13, 2007 2:59 pm

The long awaited...Chapter 2!

This is Chapter 2, join Inquisitor Quail as he delves deeper and deeper into the plot on Tyhran, will he survive? Meh as if i'd ruin the end lol.


I entered the room, my metal studded boots sinking in the lavishly decorated carpet, 14 pairs of eyes swivelled to face me, their piecing stare watching my every move. I stepped forward and bowed slightly, lets let them feel that their superior for now I thought , it might come to my advantage when I tell them to bugger off later. The man standing at the head of the table bowed, his robes swaying with the movement.
He stood straight and looked me in the eyes, they were Grey like the clouds that littered the sky at this very moment of time. He began walking around the table towards he then said, “Welcome, Inquisitor Quail, to the council chamber and let me personally welcome you to Tyhran, I am Head Councillor Watly. We offer out condolences on your arrival, we have the local PDF trying to figure out how the Heretics penetrated the Landing Pad security system then just drove away.”
I looked at him, there was actually signs of sympathy in his voice, I couldn’t help but feel sorry as I said, “I’m afaird the chances are it was a council member with security clearance, and because of that I’m afraid your all going to have to be Brain scanned.”
The room erupted with uproar, the council members were on their feet now shrieking and shouting at me, I simply walked towards the door with Head Councillor Watly following me closely; I closed the door behind me.
Me and Watly felt it would be wiser to leave the council to argue among themselves. We were on the other side of the complex when an explosion shook the whole building, I fell to the floor and landed on my broken wrist, I yelped; hoping Watly wouldn’t notice the pain I was in. I leapt to my feet and dragged Watly to his feet, he stood before me his face still in shock, “Wait here” I ordered his as I began running towards the epicentre of the commotion.
It look a good 2 minutes to reach the corridor from which the explosion had happened. My jaw dropped in horror, It was the corridor on which was situated the council chamber, the lavishly decorated carpet now just a singed fray, I walked forward, and pushed the heavy oak door, it fell off its hinges and smashed to the ground. I looked around the room, the mangled corpses of the 14 council members lay strewn all over the room, their mangled corpses looked as if they’d just been mutilated by a Daemon but of course that couldn't have happened, I bent down and examined one of the corpses, their was a large slash down his chest from which pored blood, this wasn’t a bomb or a terrorist attack….Some one had summoned a Daemon in the council chamber and used the councillers as sacrifices; my blood ran cold as I walked out the room…It was more than Heretics…someone was trying to summon a Daemon.


- Next chapter will come soon, first Heretics then the signs of a Daemon...What next? Very Happy


Last edited by on Fri Dec 14, 2007 10:31 am; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by Becci on Thu Dec 13, 2007 3:04 pm

That was great, really good visulisation. Lol now i'm looking forward to Chapter 3.

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Re: Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by The Legionnaire on Thu Dec 13, 2007 3:05 pm

Thanks Becci, you should post up some of your storys, their good too.

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Re: Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by Becci on Thu Dec 13, 2007 3:11 pm

Lol no way. I'll leave the story writting to you.

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Re: Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by Brother_Marine on Fri Dec 14, 2007 12:38 am

It's good stuff man, by my inquisitorial authority I command you to write chapter 3.

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Re: Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by Inquisitor Lord on Fri Dec 14, 2007 1:11 am

That was realy good bit short but realy good now get to work or my shiney inqusitor studed boot will be going were the moon dont shine or i could use the dirt i got on you he-he

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Re: Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by The Legionnaire on Fri Dec 14, 2007 8:34 am

Uggh you guys have no paitience at all lol.

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Re: Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by Brother_Marine on Fri Dec 14, 2007 10:05 am

Well my exams have finally finished and I feel like reading something for some reason, so yeah i am impatient.

so get on with it! Razz

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Re: Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by The Legionnaire on Fri Dec 14, 2007 10:09 am

Lol I'll release 1 Chapter each week. I'll release Chapter 3 next Wednesday.

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Re: Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by Brother-Captain Validi on Fri Dec 14, 2007 10:29 am

It's still good, but try to work on the punctuation a bit, e.g. "“Welcome Inquisitor Quail to the council chamber..." could be changed to "“Welcome, Inquisitor Quail, to the council chamber" because the way you said it, it sounds like he's asking the council members to welcome him rather than just him saying it to the Inquisitor.


Last edited by on Fri Dec 14, 2007 10:55 am; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by The Legionnaire on Fri Dec 14, 2007 10:32 am

Okay, thanks for the tip Validi.

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Re: Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by The Legionnaire on Fri Jan 25, 2008 12:13 pm

Legion Of Light wrote:Lol I'll release 1 Chapter each week. I'll release Chapter 3 next Wednesday.


Hmm I appear to have lied, sorry guys, i'll start the next chapter ASAP. Wink

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Re: Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by Brother_Marine on Sat Jan 26, 2008 4:25 am

Yeah it's just a little bit late. Razz

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Re: Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by The Legionnaire on Sat Jan 26, 2008 6:41 am

Only abit...I just can't think of a follow up...Neutral

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