Klomster writes a small book. The inferna war.

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Klomster writes a small book. The inferna war.

Post by Klomster on Tue Jul 13, 2010 2:06 pm

Yo guys.

Beeing me and all i thought i needed a new project, so i began writing a book/novel/story/whatever about my mechanicus home system.
It's going to be about the imperial elite personel like inquistorial acolytes and mechanicus myrmidons finding out the problems on the forge world of Sol, one of the great forges of the Inferna system.

So here is a bit of the prologue. I hope you like it Razz

The Inferna war.
By Klomster.


Prologue:
The damp cellar was as cold and moist as ever. The enforcer precinct above was buzzing with activity as the days went past in the greatest residential area on the planet.
Hive Solus, millions of menial workers lived their lives here working day and night to create the war machines and weapons for the imperiums armies.
Not that Richard Meyers saw the greatness in the lives of the people above him, the important jobs the enforcers did every day to make sure that the hive was in order and the work went on.
Meyers could only see the water leaking down on his boot from the roof just under the receiving hall of the precinct and hear the never ending noise of criminals and marching boots going back and forth.
´-When are we going to change to something better than this shithole of an office?´ Meyers shouted to his colleague, a robed adept with visible augmentations to his fingers and arms.
´-When are we going to begin the assignment left by Stone this morning?´ The adept answered with a hint of sarcasm.
Meyers gave the adept a fake smile and looked at the file lying on the desk he currently had his boots on.
Inquisitorial order documents, inquisitorial my behind Meyers thought. Jack Stone had only come up with another worthless assignment for him and Firos to go and watch some emperor forsaken drinking parlor in the middle of nowhere looking for ”suspicious activity” and then report back.
Stone could as well send them to guard some of the servitors handling the garbage in the back of the precinct.
´-You know it's just another frakkin ”reconnaissance mission” that ends with us sitting in an even worse apartment all day and watch drunk old workers drink rotgut booze.´ Meyers was sure to make reconnaissance sound as much as garbage delivery in importance as possible.
Richard Meyers was a young man and about twenty-seven years old with a handsome face with dark hair, strong build from his years in the enforcers. He wore a black jacket with vertical linings woven into the material making a wavelike pattern around his abdomen. His pants in a similar style with protective cushions for his knees, commonplace for the workers of Sol. His boots some big brawny black army boots with visible steel toe caps and of a heavy rugged design.
´-It's a “reconnaissance ” mission that needs to be done!´ Adept Satila Firos added, making sure he also made reconnaissance sound as important as screwing a broken lumo globe in and out all day.
Adept Firos was a bald man roughly thirty-six years old wearing a worn red robe with dozens of writing and different documentation instruments hanging from his neck down to his torso.
Firos unlike Meyers was of a thin build, not having the muscles that you get from regular exercise or just going to the local store every day. Firos fingers was covered in inky stains and both his index fingers was a kind of cybernetic pen.
A pair of small round glasses crowned Firos crooked nose that made up a farily big part of his wrinkled tired face.
´-Yeah, I guess so. Alright time to get this “mission” done.´ Meyers said while getting up. He picked up the folder with the =][= of the inquisition watermark on it and started to read.
The file was written by Jack Stone, the appointed leader figure of the group.
A choice of leadership that Meyers never really understood, but lived with. It was not like he could be all picky when it was an inquisitor had given them the directives that day a few years ago.
According to Stones orders the team was to put surveillance on “The prowling snarkling”. Meyers had been correct.
The prowling snarkling, baptised after a rodent-like creature that prowled the ventilation shafts of the slums, the bar was one of the sites that the team often surveyed and frankly, one of the worst of the places they supervise.
´-I'll drive!´ Meyers told Firos while throwing a spare jacket to the adept.


Aaaaaand cliffhanger!

Comments and criteques welcome.

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Re: Klomster writes a small book. The inferna war.

Post by Rivan on Tue Jul 13, 2010 2:48 pm

Not bad at all. So far so good Very Happy

_________________
"Though we face the power of hell, and death is at our side, we fear not, for the Emperor is with us through it all. If we live, we live for the Emperor. If we die, we die for the Emperor. So whether we live or die, we are the Emperor's. We are Grey Knights and this is why we came to be." --Grandmaster Rivan

"It is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles; if you do not know your enemies but do know yourself, you will win one and lose one; if you do not know your enemies nor yourself, you will be imperiled in every single battle." --Sun Tzu (from ancient Earth)

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Re: Klomster writes a small book. The inferna war.

Post by Klomster on Tue Jul 13, 2010 3:26 pm

Anything i should change?
Or is it just superd quality and ready for the printers? Razz

I've already come a great deal further, their assignment area is really great Very Happy

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Re: Klomster writes a small book. The inferna war.

Post by Rivan on Tue Jul 13, 2010 3:32 pm

The main flow is pretty good. What I would suggest is to have it edited by someone with experience in editing. I believe this is the norm for any book or written material.

Maybe one of our Brothers here was and editor for their school yearbook or newsletter?

_________________
"Though we face the power of hell, and death is at our side, we fear not, for the Emperor is with us through it all. If we live, we live for the Emperor. If we die, we die for the Emperor. So whether we live or die, we are the Emperor's. We are Grey Knights and this is why we came to be." --Grandmaster Rivan

"It is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles; if you do not know your enemies but do know yourself, you will win one and lose one; if you do not know your enemies nor yourself, you will be imperiled in every single battle." --Sun Tzu (from ancient Earth)

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Re: Klomster writes a small book. The inferna war.

Post by Klomster on Wed Jul 14, 2010 1:49 am

Interesting.

I will keep at this in a while. Right now i will play some APB Razz

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Re: Klomster writes a small book. The inferna war.

Post by Klomster on Thu Jul 15, 2010 11:54 am

Part 2.

Almost an hour later Meyers and Firos had managed to set up the surveillance camera and unpacked in the old apartment across the street from the prowling snarkling.
The only real difference from the apartment and the cellar office was the old newspapers, stinking bed even worse water stains on the walls and its third story location.
Otherwise the apartment was like a smelly version of their office.
Firos was looking trough the lens of the telescope located in the middle of the room. The apartment was designed so that it had a kitchen, a separate bathroom and a bigger room for everything else.
A true menial quarter. And this one in particular was even more run down than the normal ones.
Meyers wandered around the apartment in a restless way, waiting for at least something to happen.
´-If you keep moving around like that you might reveal our location and “put the mission in jeopardy”´ Firos informed his companion without looking up from the lens. The tone in Firos voice was the same as if he had informed Meyers that the apartment was dirty.
´-Why am I here really? When I joined the inquisition I though that I would fight for good, that there would be adventures and action. Not sitting in a stinking apartment staring at a pointless booze hole and writing reports about nothing.´ Meyers asked, Firos only looked at him at first but then spoke.
´-Is this not what the mighty inquisition is known for? Sitting close to you, knowing everything you do in your entire life?´ Firos ended the sentence with a smirk. Meyers laughed a silent laugh and looked out the boarded window.
´-Fear us, for we are the inquisition! We know what you drink after work!´ Meyers added with a sarcastic tone and raised his arms a bit mimicking some monster from the picter theatre. The two laughed a small bit when another figure entered the room.
´-No one told me there was going to be a party?´ The hooded figure said.
´-No party here Stark. We were just discussing the importance of this mission.´ Meyers added with a smile.
Roy Stark, a scum in his mid twenties that is only really in the team because he knows the hive and is good at taking orders. Mostly known as “Shadow” down in the slums he always wear a hood with a dark coat that he wraps around him. Stark is a rugged man with many scars, his most obvious one is an ugly scar running from the top right of his face all over his face ending just below his mouth. It is said he got it after being slashed with a sword in his youth but he has never commented on any event. Roy Stark is modified to have an enhanced level of agility that have astounded Meyers many times in several gunfights.
´-Well, i'm sorry to crash whatever was going on here. But Stone has a new assignment for us.´ Stark said with a serious tone. The lighthearted mood in the room quickly faded and Meyers was the first one to speak.
´-What now? Another reconnaissance mission? Stone probably found an even shittier place than this to spend valuable time on...´ It was obvious that Meyers was annoyed. But none of the others blamed him. The team haven't done anything of real importance in several months.
´-Actually, it seems to be an investigation job.´ Stark added. He said it in a tone that sounded more surprised than usual.
´-Investigation? Give me that file!´ Meyers curiosity almost possessing him, he took a few quick steps and pulled the file from Starks hands.
The cult of the bloody toothed gear was doing something unusual. The recon mission would be handled by someone else and the entire team was to report immediately to the office.
Meyers was truly thrilled. Throwing the file to Firos to read the young investigator quickly went and put on his jacket, he was already leaving the room when Firos was done reading the summons order.
´-Come on then slowpokes, the imperium needs us!´ Meyers added with a big smile before dissapearing out into the hallway towards the car. Firos also begun to pack up, although without the enthusiasm of Meyers.

The office was dank and smelly as ususal. The only real difference now was the fact that Jack Stone was sitting at his desk reading some papers.
Jack stone was a strong fellow, about thirty-four years old he was an old imperial guard sergeant who was used to bossing people around from his days in the army. His face rugged and sunburnt with a fat cigar between his thick lips.
He was fitted with a set of rugged bionic hands with visible mechanic parts after he lost his real hands in an automated door accident. Rumours has it it was in fact not an accident, but there is no evidence and no one wants to annoy Stone anymore than needed.
´-You took your time meatheads. Here!´ Stone was already in a bad mood, great start of a new mission Meyers thought.
Stone threw another folder with the stylized =][= waterstamp. At first it appeared as just another file from Stark, but this one was different. The wax seal was of an intricate design, belonging too....
´-The inquisitor.´Meyers said while reading through the files.
´-Inquisitor Ect specifically told us to check this out during our monthly debriefing. He said it was of utmost interest to the inquisition!´ Stone informed. Meyers gave the file to Firos when he was done.

Adios!
A cliffhanger for you Razz

Klomster
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Re: Klomster writes a small book. The inferna war.

Post by Klomster on Thu Nov 18, 2010 8:56 am

BAM, out of nowhere, update.

´-Your group will begin the investigation and possibly infiltration of the cult of the bloody toothed gear. You will have access to whatever equipment you might need from the enforcer and arbites precincts. Your team will uncover the roots and motivations of the cult and report on size and danger.´ Stone said it like he memorized every word of the inquisitor.
Inquisitor Germahim Ect was a man of few words and to the point attitude, a man who hates to wait and lead by example. Meyers knew this was something Ect took for granted that they would perform the task flawlessly.

A while later the group is in the car, a rugged all terrain vehicle for civilian use with a paintjob that could have been red
once, but the rust and dirt makes it hard to make out.
Meyers is driving with Jack stone in the front seat, the two others having a lot of space in the back, sitting in the first of two seats.
'-Ok, here is the operation details. We are going into the subhives, looking for some of the tags that have popped up here and there and see who makes them.' Stone told in his commanding sergeant voice.
'-So we are just randomly going into the subhives hoping to find a cultist who we catch in the act of painting a tag?' Meyers ask with a quizzical tone.
'-Shut yer meathole meathead. Of course we are not going in there randomly hoping to bump into a “cultist” tagging in the middle of the day.' Stone winking two of his fingers and changing his tone when mentioning cultist, he continues.
'-We are going in there, talk to the local enforcers. Search the areas for activities and keep a look out!'
'-So we are just randomly going in there hoping to see a “cultist” tagging in the middle of the day.' Firos adds with a sarkastic tone, making a quite good impersionation of Stone when mentioning cultist. Stone looks like he is going to explode but in an act of self control that impressed the entire team, he keeps calm. Meyers just smile.

The hive of Solus is constructed in the same style as most of the infrastructure of the inferna system.
A central forge that is often based from a distict feature from the landscape formed the base of the hive.
On Sol this was a massive lake of boiling mud, and like tendrils, huge roads lead out from the main hub into different habitat zones, which in turn web out into smaller habitats, housing thousands of citizens each. Unlike other hives the roads have its base on ground level and thick adamantium walls leading upwards like towering mountains and roofs that would hide the sky completely if it weren't for the gargantuan diamonded glass windows letting the light of the red skies shine in making a reddish glow that many a visitor has described as a hellish vision of a forge world.
The roads are sixteen filed with annexes leading out to smaller habitats within the main habitat hub, buzzling with trafic in all sizes carrying cargo and workers both in and out from the main forges.
From time to time a huge land crawler lumbers down the huge road, taking up almost all files on one side of the road carrying its massive payload of cargo that have been gathered most likely from the outer work-fields and gather zones.

The group drove almost to the end of the road before turning to one of the habitat zones, far away at the end of the road they could see the massive door that led out into the wastelands, the entrance so large it is said that even god-machines can walk trough. A land crawler is entering the gate when they turn, the massive vehicle looking like some sort of cart in comparrison to the only half opened door. They drive to the designated vehicle storage zone in habitat- C8,12.

'-Finally, I hate driving!' Meyers let out with a rellief while their car was beeing lifted into the storage system by huge mechanical claws and platforms.
'-Well luckily enough you love working, so get to work!' Stone said with a serious tone while throwing a copy of the order data to Meyers.

Until later Razz

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