Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

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Re: Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by Legion Of Light on Fri Dec 14, 2007 3:34 pm

Uggh you guys have no paitience at all lol.
92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you are part of the 8% who still listen to real music, copy and paste this into your signature.

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Re: Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by Brother_Marine on Fri Dec 14, 2007 5:05 pm

Well my exams have finally finished and I feel like reading something for some reason, so yeah i am impatient.

so get on with it! Razz
"The warrior who acts out of honour cannot fail. His honour is duty itself. Even his death - if it is honourable - is a reward and can be no failure, for it has come through duty. Seek honour as you act, therefore, and you will know no fear."

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Re: Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by Legion Of Light on Fri Dec 14, 2007 5:09 pm

Lol I'll release 1 Chapter each week. I'll release Chapter 3 next Wednesday.
92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you are part of the 8% who still listen to real music, copy and paste this into your signature.

Visit the Archives for History on the Grey Knights, Or to put up your own facts and fluff.
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Re: Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by Brother-Captain Validi on Fri Dec 14, 2007 5:29 pm

It's still good, but try to work on the punctuation a bit, e.g. "“Welcome Inquisitor Quail to the council chamber..." could be changed to "“Welcome, Inquisitor Quail, to the council chamber" because the way you said it, it sounds like he's asking the council members to welcome him rather than just him saying it to the Inquisitor.
92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you are part of the 8% who still listen to real music, copy and paste this into your signature.

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Last edited by on Fri Dec 14, 2007 5:55 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by Legion Of Light on Fri Dec 14, 2007 5:32 pm

Okay, thanks for the tip Validi.
92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you are part of the 8% who still listen to real music, copy and paste this into your signature.

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Re: Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by Legion Of Light on Fri Jan 25, 2008 7:13 pm

Legion Of Light wrote:Lol I'll release 1 Chapter each week. I'll release Chapter 3 next Wednesday.



Hmm I appear to have lied, sorry guys, i'll start the next chapter ASAP. Wink
92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you are part of the 8% who still listen to real music, copy and paste this into your signature.

Visit the Archives for History on the Grey Knights, Or to put up your own facts and fluff.
http://greyknights.forumotion.com/the-archives-c2/

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Re: Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by Brother_Marine on Sat Jan 26, 2008 11:25 am

Yeah it's just a little bit late. Razz
"The warrior who acts out of honour cannot fail. His honour is duty itself. Even his death - if it is honourable - is a reward and can be no failure, for it has come through duty. Seek honour as you act, therefore, and you will know no fear."

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Re: Inquisitorial Story. Victimised.

Post by Legion Of Light on Sat Jan 26, 2008 1:41 pm

Only abit...I just can't think of a follow up...Neutral
92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you are part of the 8% who still listen to real music, copy and paste this into your signature.

Visit the Archives for History on the Grey Knights, Or to put up your own facts and fluff.
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